Rutgers Cans Unhealthy Takeout Options

It appears the days of greasy takeout are numbered at Rutgers University.

“In a makeover of its dining hall menus, Rutgers University plans to eliminate chicken nuggets, hash browns and other unhealthy foods from its takeout section and incorporate more nutritious options in the all-you-can-eat cafeterias.

By the end of the fall semester, Rutgers expects chicken wings will be baked instead of fried, hot sauce from the jar will be replaced with fresh spices, and processed meats will be traded for poached salmon or turkey roasted and smoked by university chefs, among other changes.

The food on the new menus will be more than just healthy, it will be “absolutely good,” said Ian Keith, the Rutgers chef leading the menu overhaul.

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For Rutgers students, that means takeout chicken fingers will be replaced with grilled chicken, and hash browns will swapped out for Peruvian hash made from heirloom potatoes, spinach and roasted onions.

Instead of pork sausage, Rutgers will serve smoked chicken sausage with spinach on a whole grain English muffin. A new bagel bar will feature a vegetable cream cheese mixed at Rutgers and loaded with broccoli, squash and scallions.

Plant-based meal, such as tofu and broccoli stir fry, will become more prevalent.”

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Boiling. My blood is boiling. More bad press for good old Rutgers. You can’t take away chicken nuggets and fries from a school cafeteria, you just can’t. That’s like taking bread and milk out of a supermarket. Baked chicken wings, fine. But replacing hot sauce with “fresh spices”? I must be poorly educated (I went to Rutgers) because I’m almost 25 and never knew that hot sauce was some destructive condiment for morbid gluttons. Learn something new every day. I love when Rutgers tries to be all fancy. One of my favorite saying is as follows. You. Can’t. Shine. A. Turd. Might get that put on my headstone (that day might be here sooner than I think from all that hot sauce). Actually I had to look this up because I just don’t buy it. Here’s what I found:

“But let’s not ignore all the benefits of hot sauce because it really does do a lot of good for the body. Capsaicin, which is responsible for making chilis spicy, has been reported to decrease inflammation, relieve soreness and help fight prostate cancer.”

“Spicy peppers have amazing health benefits, but there’s a catch, of course. If spicy food is your thing, you could be eating your way to better health via your favorite condiment. A recent scientific study says hot sauce is good for you, especially if it’s paired with a little fat.”

Could be fake news but go ahead and ask me if I trust Google or Rutgers more. Damn. Tough one. I also love how the chef spearheading this says it will be “really good” Now I’m sold! Get this guy on Shark Tank with that pitch! Last time I trusted someone at Rutgers (an advisor) I ended up being a senior on the verge of not being able to graduate. The roasted turkey doesn’t sound too bad but the “chicken sausage with spinach on a whole grain English muffin” and the “vegetable cream cheese mixed at Rutgers and loaded with broccoli, squash and scallions” and “tofu and broccoli stir fry” is where I draw the line. This isn’t going to make students healthier. It’s going to leave them emaciated! There are two ways to curb hunger at Rutgers now. Drugs… and this new menu. At least it shouldn’t be too hard to fit into that formal dress now right? You want to make students healthier? How about renovating the College Ave Gym? Make it less of a sweaty shoebox and more of a, ya know, health and wellness facility? Or how about extending the hours? Maybe people want to get a lift or run in past 6pm on a Saturday before they get shitfaced? This news is tough to swallow both literally and figuratively but hey, at least you can wash it down with a coke product now =).

You can check out the full article right here:

http://www.nj.com/education/2017/03/rutgers_dining_hall_menu_chicken_nuggets_healthy_f.html

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Chick Goes Crazy At Indiana Jimmy Johns

An Indiana University student was arrested yesterday after what appears to be a raucous evening at Jimmy Johns.

“Megan Hinds, 21, is charged with felony battery and misdemeanor disorderly conduct.

At about 6:30 p.m. officers responded to a call from the sandwich shop at 430 E. Kirkwood Ave. about a woman trying to steal food, Bloomington Police Department Capt. Steve Kellams said. When officers arrived employees pointed them to Hinds, who was still sitting at a table inside the restaurant and appeared intoxicated.

The employees told police Hinds had come into the store, grabbed a loaf of bread and started eating it without paying. She then started trying to take bags of chips and other items, and when employees tried to stop her, she struck several of them.

When the officers approached Hinds she told one of them she believed he was profiling her because she was white and ugly, Kellams said. The arresting officer was also white, and the backing officer was white with some Hispanic heritage, Kellams said.

Police determined Hinds was intoxicated enough to warrant calling an ambulance, Kellams said. While they waited, Hinds continued to verbally abuse the officers and eventually started striking and scratching them.”

Listen, I feel for the girl. I really do. This has happened to me once or twice or literally every single weekend I’ve left my house for a night out. She’s going to get enough shit from her friends, family, peers, entire campus, court system, etc. Who am I to sit here and add insult to injury? I actually looked up the girl on Facebook and she actually appears to be pretty normal. Has alcoholic beverages in a number of pictures so she’s probably pretty chill. The chick is blacked out at Jimmy Johns at 6:30 PM saying she’s white and ugly. Clearly there’s something wrong with her and that something is pretty self explanatory. It also seems to me that the Jimmy Johns team overreacted just a bit. These are the people that ride a bike that was made in the 70’s through fucking blizzards and thunderstorms to deliver people food and they call the cops because this drunkard is stealing bread and chips and attacking people when they confront her? This is the same Indiana University where their old basketball coach is revered for heaving a chair across the court. Shit, Bobby Knight’s whole tenure there was pretty much one big temper tantrum. Kinda soft if you ask me.

PS. I just want this girl to know that although she says she’s white and ugly there’s a certain beauty to a girl shoving Jimmy Johns down her throat blacked out, never change babe.

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You can check out the full article right here:

http://www.idsnews.com/article/2017/01/iu-student-charged-with-battery-after-jimmy-johns-incident

New Music Mondays: Four Tracks You Need To Know

Halloween was fucking lit this year and we’re all probably still in the recovery process, but whether you’re ready or not the mayhem continues on this first Monday of November with four massive new tracks by some of the best the genre has to offer. On your mark, ya better get set…

Quintino- Scorpion (Hardwell Edit)

Hardwell is featured a lot on this site and the reasoning is pretty simple, he’s really fucking good. His originals are some of the most well identified tracks of electronic music but his remixes are nothing to mess with either. This is an electro banger that does a great job of bringing elements from different sub genres and combining them into one massive track. Number 1 on DJ Mag or not, Robbert is still at the top of his game and Scorpion fully supports that statement. This one is out now on Revealed Recordings.

Jay Hardaway- Electric Elephants

A big complaint nowadays is that a lot of music is sounding the same, that there’s a lack of originality. Jay Hardaway puts that notion to rest with his newest track ‘Electric Elephants’. Signed to Spinnin Records, Jay Hardaway’s arsenal of great tracks continues to grow at a breakneck pace. Definitely an artist to watch if you haven’t been already, plus he’s in my Instagram profile picture so you know he’s legit. ‘Electric Elephants’ is out now on Spinnin Records.

Riggi & Piros- Knightlife

Speaking of young producers, Riggi & Piros (from Jersey how cool is that) are some of the hottest in the game right now. I don’t even think they’re old enough to have a beer but this duo has already been recognized by some of the biggest in the industry. They are pretty much the prodigy of Tiesto so you know they’re fucking legit. Knightlife is a powerful progressive work, available now on Musical Freedom.

Afrojack- Unstoppable (Original Mix)

This one has really grown on me recently. Afrojack knows how to bring the craziness as good as anyone and ‘Unstoppable’ surely does not disappoint in that department. The first drop is a darker, clubbier sound then builds up to something that would set a festival completely off. ‘Unstoppable’ is available now on Wall Recordings.

Lack Of Processed Meats Linked To Mental Health Illness, Study Suggests

A recent study conducted by Gratzfeed scientists revealed that an absence of processed and red meat may be linked to mental health illness. The study suggested that low levels of processed and red meat consumption can be a prime cause of irritableness, depression, anxiety and overall being a shitty, miserable person.

Scientists found that those who didn’t consume processed and red meats had lower dopamine levels than those who did, a major contributor of mental illness.

Tyler Collins, 21 year old junior at Arizona State University wasn’t shocked by the findings. “I think it definitely makes sense dude. Last night we had a social with Zeta and just got obliterated off this handle of $13 tequila I split with my boy Blake. I woke up in the bushes outside of the house and just felt like complete death bro. I made some pledge drive me and Blake to McDonalds and after two sausage McGriddles my hangover felt like way better. I don’t know what I would have done without those things man, I could have lost my mind and done something drastic to myself. Those little things saved my life”.

Collins isn’t the only one who not surprised by the findings. 29 year old Shayna Goldfarb, active JDate-r and owner of six cats says she’s been using processed and red meats as an anxiety remedy for years. “With work being so stressful, I need a little something to take the edge off. I’ve never been one for drugs and alcohol and with the gym being so far from my apartment I started a little weekend tradition of treating myself to a pepperoni pizza from Papa Johns. I just really feel like a better person with it in my life. I even give my little Ollie a piece or two of pepperoni since he’s the best behaved of the bunch! hehe =)”

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Researchers even went as far to say that low levels of these meats could be as harmful as not having a cigarette when drunk or not taking adderall before studying. Experts are pushing for increased processed and red meat educational campaigns in an effort to raise awareness about illnesses that affect millions of Americans on a daily basis.

Dude Allegedly Kills His Friend After Drunk Binge Watching ‘The Walking Dead’

A New Mexico man is being charged with murder after allegedly killing his friend after a marathon session of drinking and watching ‘The Walking Dead’.

According to KOB 4 News, 23-year-old Damon Perry was drunk and binge-watching the gory AMC hit on Thursday when he believed his friend Christopher Paguin had begun to join the ranks of the undead.

Perry attacked Paguin with fist, feet, an electric guitar and a microwave. He told police that he thought he was stopping a transformation from human to zombie, as well as a zombie apocalypse. Perry also threatened others in his complex with a knife before he was subdued by maintenance workers and officers arrived on the scene.”

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If you’re laughing, stop. My friends and I once played a drinking game for ‘American Horror Story’ our senior year at 83 Sicard where everyone had to take a shot each time the word “supreme” was said. Being over a year removed from college and suddenly all mature and shit now I can tell you that was one of the most dangerous and juvenile stunts ever pulled. Something bad could have happened that night. Nana could have bit off Akhil’s head. Borenstein could have stabbed Hammer with a handle of TC (oh wait never mind because they’re fucking plastic but you still get the point). What a fascinating choice of weapons used, guitar AND microwave, definitely the most diverse lineup of murder instruments I’ve seen in a while. This could could be the beginning of a very terrifying epidemic in America. Do you know how many crazy chicks drink a bottle of wine and watch shows about scandals and cheating boyfriends? It’s all fun and Netflix and chill memes until some poor schmuck comes home from work one day and finds his nut sack sandwiched in a hair straightener. I also don’t think this guy actually thought his boy was turning into a zombie. I think what really happened here was he was heating up a hot pocket in the microwave and bit into it before it got a chance to cool and the effects sent him off the handle into a fit of rage…unless they were also on bath salts, then the zombie transformation totally seems plausible. Also, just want to say how lame I think these shows are, never got into em and probably never will. Did I give them a fair chance and actually sit down to watch them? No, but I like my horror entertainment to feature horny leprechauns and killer dolls, but that’s just me. Remember everyone, please binge responsibly.

You can check out the full article here:

http://variety.com/2015/tv/news/the-walking-dead-murder-fan-kills-friend-1201626838/

Gratz’s Grumblings: Week 5

Well, that’s another week of NFL football in the books. Wing filled, beer soaked, fantasy obsessive, NFL football. While I have a rock hard boner for cold weathered, playoff football I get a little depressed as the number of football Sundays shrink at a Devonta Freeman like pace. Let’s check out what the fuck happened in week 5 around the NFL.

Jamal Charles tore his ACL and will be out for the season as the Chiefs suffered a deflating 1 point loss to the Bears. One of those things that just really fucking sucks. This is the second time Charles tore an ACL, this time in his right knee. Charles is currently 28 years old and everyone knows how hard it is for rushers to perform at a high level beyond that age without  a torn ACL. It may seem dramatic but it’s appropriate to wonder if Charles will ever be able to return to form and if he does, for how long? The Chiefs find themselves in a hole at 1-4 and their season may be over. Luckily, they still have a lot of talent on this team so I don’t think a severe overhaul would be necessary. Not to make excuses for them but their schedule has just been absolutely brutal, having already faced Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers, and the scorching hot Bengals. They still should have been able to best the Bears with or without their star rusher and a team with their expectations should have made their other losses a lot closer. Disappointing season? Yes. Still reasonable to expect them to be successful in the near future? Not so much.

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Speaking of the scorching hot Bengals, they were about to be doused with a bucket of ice cold water, until they weren’t. They trailed Hawks 24-7 in the fourth quarter and rallied all the way back to give Mike Nugent the chance to clank one off the upright and get the W. It’s a big time win for the cats but an even bigger loss for the Seahawks. How did that happen? That’s just so crushing after an energizing, Kam Chancellor returning victory last week. At 2-3 they really cost themselves the luxury of future flukey fuck ups. However, they are a defense oriented team and if they can crack the postseason they will still be a threat to make it pretty damn far. Again, that’s if they can crack the postseason.

There is no excuse for the Ravens losing to the Browns. None. Even without Steve Smith Baltimore should have been able to win this game by at least a touchdown. Instead they’re 1-4 and in last place in the AFC North. Josh McCown had a historic 457 yard passing day. JOSH McCOWN. JOSH FUCKING McCOWN. I have no idea what’s wrong with the Ravens but honestly I don’t hate it. Saves us all the breath we’d waste debating Joe Flacco’s elite status, no matter what side you’re on.

The Patriots won. In other news Chick Fil A is scrumptious and Chris Christie is fat.

The Eagles. Chip Kelly is a bum! Chip Kelly is a genius! Fire Chip Kelly! Eagles are winning the NFC East! Honestly, nobody knows what the fuck the Eagles are about still and anybody who makes a prediction about their season is just wasting their time. The Eagles had a very nice win against the Saints but simply put the Saints suck. That’s no reason to be down or knock them, quite the opposite. Their defense is improving and can force turnovers. They almost hit 200 yards rushing in balanced attack amongst their three talented runners. Josh Huff FINALLY got into the action and caught his first NFL touchdown as he led the team in receiving. Sam Bradford has to get better, he threw two ugly red zone interceptions and those mistakes aren’t going to be as easy to recover from against better teams. Because the Eagles won by 22 points nobody seemed to care about how Caleb Sturgis ineptitude as a kicker as he missed another extra point. That kid better figure it out and fucking fast. With this team it’s a better idea to just take it week to week instead of calculating complex scenarios, just enjoy the ride and hope it doesn’t fall off the fucking tracks.

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The Broncos are scaring everyone but I’m still not too concerned. Peyton Manning hasn’t lit it up like he used to but people aren’t realizing how good their defense is playing. They create turnovers, get to the quarterback and a better defense might be even more valuable than a prolific offense come playoff time. Peyton Manning stlll isn’t bad either and they still have talented receivers. They seem to be getting a lot of flack for a team who is undefeated, with more time to figure out this offense they can be a dangerous team if they can put it all together.