Dude Taken Into Custody After Wielding Samurai Sword In Apple Store

Samurai sword in an apple store, hey that rhymes! Ok so a man has just been taken into custody after waving a samurai sword in the Apple store in Midtown, Manhattan.

“A man was taken into custody after allegedly waving a samurai sword around inside the flagship Apple Store in Manhattan.

It happened around 4 p.m. Friday at the 59th Street and 5th Avenue Apple Store location.

Police say that the man entered the store and was yelling and menacing with the sword.”

I usually tell my friends that I can’t handle New York because of all the craziness and looneys roaming around. This is not one of those instances. This man gets it, good for him. Going to the Apple store is starting to rival the all time most dreadful excursions one can make such as going to the dentist or DMV. First, you have to make an appointment (like you’re going to the fucking dentist), then you check in with one of the Apple creatures and they tell you to wait and they’ll get you when they’re ready. Then, while you’re waiting you look around the store, tempted to buy new cool looking shit even though the reason you’re there is because the old cool looking shit that you bought isn’t even working right. Then you finally get up to the nerd, er, genius* and they try to rush you out like you’re an old ex they saw on a sidewalk, brushing off the stupid questions you ask and making you feel dumber than you really are (I’m sorry I don’t know how the cloud works, GOSH). This guy probably just didn’t have the patience to deal with the nonsense and started waving a samurai sword to expedite the process. Either that or he was trying to give a haircut to an employee which would make total sense since a samurai sword is probably the only effective instrument that could cut those mops. The guy gets a D- for timing though, with all that’s going on in the world I’m not quite sure you should start waving samurai swords around in crowded places…IT’S JUST TOO SOON. He doesn’t get an F because I don’t know the exact reasoning for this behavior, like if his phone was out of warranty by a day or something then he’s in the clear. Anyways, I’m going to go waste my life away on this expensive Apple product that I bought to make my life more productive, ciao.


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