Gratzfood Review: Burger King Crispy Chicken Sandwich

When you first hear Burger King, chances are the first thing that pops in your head isn’t chicken. In all likelihood the first thing you think of rhymes with bopper. Or schnopper. Sure BK has chicken fries and an original chicken sandwich that has been around forever but the reality is they have been searching for a premium chicken sandwich fixture on their menu the same way the Cleveland Browns have been searching for a franchise quarterback. Due to the popularity of other chicken sandwiches in the fast food game companies have felt added pressure to offer a quality chicken sandwich that can compete with the industries top sellers.

Enter the new Crispy Chicken Sandwich. According to Burger King, “Our New Crispy Sandwich is made with 100% white meat chicken filet, seasoned and breaded and carefully layered with fresh lettuce, ripe tomato, and creamy mayonnaise on a potato bun.” Sounds quite appealing. Reviews and word of mouth that I have seen and heard so far have been pretty positive too. It was time to put it to the test.

What I ordered: Crispy Chicken Sandwich meal (medium). No tomatoes. No mayo.

Cost: $8.31 with tax.

Verdict: First off, I only wanted to order the sandwich, without the fries and drink. The sandwich alone came to $5.19. At that point I felt the only logical option was to spring the extra 2 something and get the meal. They got me. It was supposed to be 7 bucks and change but somehow, someway came to $8.31. Rather than dissect the charges like an old lady at Shop Rite I paid and kept it moving. Time to eat. I unwrapped the sandwich (which came in regular paper, nothing that would make it feel like a premium item) and at first glance wasn’t all too impressed. It looked like a pretty standard chicken sandwich. The first thing I thought when I took a bite was that this tasted familiar and I couldn’t figure out why. Then I realized that the bun they used tasted identical to the one McDonald’s uses for their Buttermilk Deluxe Crispy Chicken Sandwich. Not to say that’s a bad thing as I actually like that bread but it just seemed odd for it to taste so similar to their competitor. As for the chicken? Good but not great. It was made with white meat but it wasn’t a plump, hearty breast of chicken. Here’s the thing, while this may be a decent chicken sandwich the price and overall lack of anything exciting won’t ever make me go out of my way for it. It tasted good, I liked the bread and it was pretty crispy but it doesn’t compete with say, Chick-fil-A or even come close. Chick-Fil-A tastes better and costs less. Go figure. I don’t want to spend $8 at Burger King for a meal. If I’m spending $8 I want to get a bunch of little things and fill myself up that way. For instance, you can grab 2 of their Original Chicken Sandwiches for $5. I’d much rather do that. Or if I were at Wendy’s you can have FIVE of their dollar menu ones. That may be excessive (it may not be) but I’m just making a point. Quality over quantity is one thing but when you’re at Burger King the goal is usually to get as much grub as you can for the lowest cost possible. Kind of disappointed. If you’re at Burger King and are craving a chicken sandwich then by all means go for it. But if you’re just in the mood for a chicken sandwich in general and have transportation or can walk then there are much, much better alternatives… and at a lower price.

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You Have To Love This South Jersey Dude Who Went To Jail For Drunkenly Crashing His Golf Cart Trying To Run Over A Rooster

There are some savages in South Jersey. Trust me. I would know. But Daniel Jones has just set the bar pretty darn high with his antics in Key West, Florida (another severely messed up state). I’m not even going to summarize, instead I’m just going to copy and paste pretty much the entire original article because it’s just too funny as is.

“The 34-year-old South Jersey man spent a night in a Key West, Fla., jail last week after he drunkenly crashed a golf cart trying to run over a rooster, according to The Florida Keys newspaper.

The Cinnaminson resident was reportedly seen around 6 p.m. last Friday driving the cart erratically through the white-house-lined streets of Bahama Village in pursuit of the red-headed cockerel.

“He was adamant about trying to hit the rooster,” Key West resident Vincent Vurro, who saw the whole thing unfold, told the newspaper.

As Jones swerved toward the bird, the cart rolled over, throwing the driver and two passengers onto the street, the newspaper reported. A female passenger suffered chipped teeth and skinned knees.

The rooster, however, proceeded safely to the sidewalk.

Jones was taken into custody, and reportedly fell asleep in the police cruiser on the way to the local jail.

After repeatedly sticking his fingers and shirt in his mouth, the newspaper reported, Jones allegedly scored a blood-alcohol content of 0.25, which is more than three times the legal limit in Key West.

He was jailed on suspicion of driving under the influence, and was released on his own recognizance the next day.

Efforts to reach him Wednesday were unsuccessful.”

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Although this report is only a few paragraphs long, it feels like a Pulitzer Prize winning novel. So much to examine and break down. Where do I begin? “He was adamant about trying to hit the rooster”. First off, not sure if the driver would even know what adamant means. Second, you can’t not appreciate the drivers sheer tenacity and will. He was going to run over and splatter that rooster’s guts if it was the last thing he did. Except he didn’t. Also love the part about the two passengers flying out into the street too, with one of them chipping their teeth and messing up their knees. Wonder what they were thinking during that whole ordeal. Must have thought they were in a real life game of Crazy Taxi or Simpsons Road Rage (very underrated video game by the way). Were they in on this goose, er, rooster chase too? Then there’s the ultimate shot to the heart. The cold blooded sentence that really stings and shatters you. “The rooster, however, proceeded safely to the sidewalk.” Damn. I can just imagine that smug fucking rooster looking at these bozos from the sidewalk, sucking their souls with just his stare. Like Kevin McCallister grinning at The Wet Bandits immediately after ruining their lives. Was this the most cunning, elusive rooster ever or was this golf cart carrying the world’s saddest and most pathetic human beings on earth? I guess unless we get some video footage we may never know. I could go on and on with this one but I simply don’t have the mental capacity to dive even deeper. I guess not everyone from South Jersey was born a rocket scientist…

Starburst Is Releasing All Pink Packs This April And America Is Officially Great Again

The protests have worked. The suffering is over. Change is coming. Temporary change, but still change and a step in the right direction. Starburst has announced they will be releasing all pink packs this April. That’s not all, they will also be releasing all pink BAGS too. LIKE BAGS, LIKE THE KIND THAT ARE DESIGNED TO SUPPLY A SMALL CHILD’S ENTIRE BIRTHDAY PARTIES WORTH OF GOODIE BAGS.

What great news on a Monday. I’ve already made my official Starburst power rankings known but in case you’re unfamiliar here they are once again:

  1. Pink
  2. Orange

The only problem with this is I have to figure out the legalities of my business plan. I want to horde as many packs and bags as I can and resell them on the black market to fellow addicts. The problem is I’m pretty sure pink Starburst are still classified as scheduled one narcotics. On a side note what a great idea releasing these in April. Not only is that my birthday month but the real appeal is that these will finally take all the attention away from those disgusting sugar coated chicks and ducks that everyone buys around Easter. Those things are a real travesty. Hopefully Starburst will come to their senses and keep all pink packs around for an extended time (forever and ever) but in the meantime everybody responsibly.

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This is not fake news.

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Gratzfood Review: Shanks Original

If you read Gratzfeed then you’re already familiar with our comprehensive guide to Philly’s best cheesesteaks. While we searched far and wide in order be as thorough as possible there were admittedly a few places we didn’t get to hit, one of them being Shanks. Located on Columbus boulevard, Shanks is a little joint right by the river that fits the mold of a typical Philly cheesesteak spot. It’s dive-y. After a trip to home depot my buddy and I swung by and put it to the test as we looked to unlock another notch on our cheesesteak belt, quite literally too.

What I ordered: Cheesesteak. American cheese. Fried Onions.

Cost: $8.75

Verdict: The bread was pretty good and the meat was solid. So it was good right? Eh, kinda.  The cheesesteak was good but it didn’t really have anything special that separates it from the competition. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed it but it’s not a sandwich I would go out of my way for, especially with all of the other options close by. For $8.75 I thought they could have added more meat and perhaps that’s something they can do in the future to better stand out. I mean my hunger was satisfied after eating it but in my opinion eating a cheesesteak isn’t supposed to just fill you, it should effectively knock you out. This kind of reminded me of a slightly better cheesesteak you can get from say your local pizza spot, which isn’t necessarily a knock it’s just not a Philly elite in my opinion. Good, not great, if it’s put in front of me I’m not going to say no but I’m not trekking out of my way for it. You get it. Cool.

Gratzfood Review: Craftsman Row Saloon

So my buddy’s been telling me about a place right near his work, Craftsman Row Saloon. Vouches for their food although he usually gets a salad. Fine. Then I started seeing Craftsman Row pop up on some Instagram food accounts. Then I saw their own page and something caught my attention like I was an 8 year old walking past KB Toys. “OFF THE MENU Buffalo Chicken Sandwich! Available upon request”. Well guess what? Gratzfood came. Gratzfood requested. Gratzfood ate. Shall we?

What it’s called: Buffalo Chicken Sandwich.

Cost: $9.50 + tax.

What is it exactly?: Boneless fried chicken in buffalo sauce, american cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, bleu cheese, bacon on a brioche (o la la) bun. Side of fries.

Gratzfood alterations: No tomato. No bleu cheese. I don’t have many kind words to say about bleu cheese. Substitute spicy ranch.

Verdict: The sandwich was amazing. I freakin loved it and am still on a high as I write this. The chicken breast was huge and tasty. The buffalo sauce wasn’t all too spicy but yet very flavorful. You get more of the buffalo taste than the actual heat, for some that may be a good thing and for others that may be a bad thing but I really enjoyed it as I wasn’t dying while eating this bad boy. Sometimes places overdo it with the sauce, I found this to be just right. Instead of bleu cheese I opted for their spicy ranch and I’m more than happy with that decision. They put it on the sandwich and then gave me a side of it which was clutch as I was pouring it on each bite and even dipping my fries. Perhaps the real game changer with this creation was the bacon. The bacon was thick and hearty and delicious. I mean, c’mon it’s bacon…on a fried chicken sandwich. Also, I don’t think I ever met a brioche bun I didn’t like. Anytime a place decides to use brioche buns for it’s sandwiches it never hurts, only helps. The fries they serve are just ok but they give you a lot and it doesn’t take much for me to chow down on a side of fries. I wish they were a little crispier but the main priority with this meal was the sandwich which simply rocked. I would easily recommended this and would gladly go and order it again. Apparently their brisket mac and cheese is also pretty delightful…til next time!

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Warning: This might get messy.

Gratzfood Review: Fried Chicken Sandwich From Federal Donuts

It’s no secret that I have an affinity for fried chicken, more specifically fried chicken sandwiches. Fried breaded chicken in between two pieces of bread is simply a winning combination and when done right it can be a true game changer. Legend has it that one of the best chicken sandwiches in Philly is actually to be had at a place called Federal Donuts. Yes, Federal Donuts. Here’s the story, Federal Donuts has obviously served donuts for a longtime as well as fried chicken. Just a year or two ago they began making fried chicken sandwiches during the summer at one of their outdoor stands. They were immensely popular. Now, they’re a menu mainstay. So, without further introduction let’s break this bad boy down and see if it lived up to its strong rep.

What it’s called: Fried Chicken Sandwich

Cost: $6.75 plus tax

What is it exactly?: boneless fried chicken, buttermilk ranch seasoning, american cheese spicy rooster sauce (think chipotle mayo), dill pickles, Martin’s potato roll

Verdict: Awesome. I really enjoyed this sandwich and can understand it’s popularity in the area. What makes this sandwich stand out is all the fixings that are piled on it. The chipotle mayo, the cheese, the abundance of pickles (there’s like 5 or 6 little pickles on it and you get them in every bite) all help make this a strong sandwich. It was cooked to order and overall really fresh. Now, for the sake of comparison since I believe the standard for a chicken sandwich is Chick Fil A, I’ll make the comparison to their sandwiches. Chick Fil A adds just butter and pickles to their sandwich and still tastes amazing because their chicken itself just tastes phenomenal. It’s brined in salt and the flavor of the breading is amazing. I can eat a plain Chick Fil A sandwich, I don’t know if I’d want to eat a plain chicken sandwich from Federal Donuts. In my opinion Federal Donuts needs the extra toppings to compete but since they have them that’s not a bad thing at all, just an observation. The chicken at Federal Donuts was still solid as it was crispy and meaty, it just wouldn’t have the “oomph” without all the extras.  For a non-chain local spot, Federal Donuts’ chicken sandwich is impressive and definitely a worthy alternative if you’re in the mood for a unique take on a chicken sandwich.

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Side note: If you think I didn’t get a donut from Federal Donuts you’re off your rocker. I went with the cookies and cream option and let me tell you it was absolutely delectable. Instead of a chicken sandwich, I could eat three donuts and be happy. That’s probably not a good idea though? I wanted to wait til I got back home to eat it so I could take a picture of it but after one bite I knew that sucker wasn’t making it in the bag another minute. So yeah, just putting it out there that while the chicken at Federal Donuts is on point, their Donuts are indeed crack.

Early Thoughts: Joel Embiid Looks Special

The Sixers may have only played two games (and lost both) but watching them this year has been wholeheartedly more exciting, mainly due to rookie Joel Embiid. Simply put I cannot stress how impressed I’ve been with the former number three overall pick thus far in the early 2016 season.

What about Embiid makes me gush? Well, there’s a lot. But the most striking thing to me isn’t really something tangible, instead it’s how natural and polished he looks as a basketball player, a rookie one at that. He has this confidence about him with the ball in his hands and looks like someone with years of experience despite playing just 44 total minutes. He looks unprecedentedly polished with his handles and moves. Actually, his whole career thus far has been unprecedented. Embiid was considered to be the number one overall prospect after only 28 games at Kansas but a surgery to his right foot following the season caused him to slide down and be selected third. He missed his entire rookie year. And the year after that. Not to mention he missed the NCAA tournament while he was still in college. So in his first real NBA games there would surely be some rust right? Not hardly. So far Embiid has put on display all the elements of his game that scouts believed could make him elite. He can step back and shoot, threes even. He has shown flashes of being a formidable defender with highlight reel rejections, including one on veteran Dwight Howard no less.

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Additionally, another reason i love watching the kid is because his game is plain old refreshing. With so many guard oriented attacks now, it’s cool to see a seven footer handle the rock and lead an offense. He doesn’t look awkward or clumsy like many players his size so often do. He plays like a guard or forward in a centers body.

I must admit that out of all the Sixers young “assets” (remember that word?), I was the most skeptical about Embiid, mainly because of his history of injuries. I still am skeptical to a degree about his body going forward. But thus far, saying he looks impressive would be an understatement. Has he only played two games? Yes. Is he going to make some bad, ugly rookie mistakes this season? Yes, of course. But from this small sample size it’s hard not to get amped about what this guy can do for a success starved franchise in the years to come.