Rutgers Cans Unhealthy Takeout Options

It appears the days of greasy takeout are numbered at Rutgers University.

“In a makeover of its dining hall menus, Rutgers University plans to eliminate chicken nuggets, hash browns and other unhealthy foods from its takeout section and incorporate more nutritious options in the all-you-can-eat cafeterias.

By the end of the fall semester, Rutgers expects chicken wings will be baked instead of fried, hot sauce from the jar will be replaced with fresh spices, and processed meats will be traded for poached salmon or turkey roasted and smoked by university chefs, among other changes.

The food on the new menus will be more than just healthy, it will be “absolutely good,” said Ian Keith, the Rutgers chef leading the menu overhaul.


For Rutgers students, that means takeout chicken fingers will be replaced with grilled chicken, and hash browns will swapped out for Peruvian hash made from heirloom potatoes, spinach and roasted onions.

Instead of pork sausage, Rutgers will serve smoked chicken sausage with spinach on a whole grain English muffin. A new bagel bar will feature a vegetable cream cheese mixed at Rutgers and loaded with broccoli, squash and scallions.

Plant-based meal, such as tofu and broccoli stir fry, will become more prevalent.”


Boiling. My blood is boiling. More bad press for good old Rutgers. You can’t take away chicken nuggets and fries from a school cafeteria, you just can’t. That’s like taking bread and milk out of a supermarket. Baked chicken wings, fine. But replacing hot sauce with “fresh spices”? I must be poorly educated (I went to Rutgers) because I’m almost 25 and never knew that hot sauce was some destructive condiment for morbid gluttons. Learn something new every day. I love when Rutgers tries to be all fancy. One of my favorite saying is as follows. You. Can’t. Shine. A. Turd. Might get that put on my headstone (that day might be here sooner than I think from all that hot sauce). Actually I had to look this up because I just don’t buy it. Here’s what I found:

“But let’s not ignore all the benefits of hot sauce because it really does do a lot of good for the body. Capsaicin, which is responsible for making chilis spicy, has been reported to decrease inflammation, relieve soreness and help fight prostate cancer.”

“Spicy peppers have amazing health benefits, but there’s a catch, of course. If spicy food is your thing, you could be eating your way to better health via your favorite condiment. A recent scientific study says hot sauce is good for you, especially if it’s paired with a little fat.”

Could be fake news but go ahead and ask me if I trust Google or Rutgers more. Damn. Tough one. I also love how the chef spearheading this says it will be “really good” Now I’m sold! Get this guy on Shark Tank with that pitch! Last time I trusted someone at Rutgers (an advisor) I ended up being a senior on the verge of not being able to graduate. The roasted turkey doesn’t sound too bad but the “chicken sausage with spinach on a whole grain English muffin” and the “vegetable cream cheese mixed at Rutgers and loaded with broccoli, squash and scallions” and “tofu and broccoli stir fry” is where I draw the line. This isn’t going to make students healthier. It’s going to leave them emaciated! There are two ways to curb hunger at Rutgers now. Drugs… and this new menu. At least it shouldn’t be too hard to fit into that formal dress now right? You want to make students healthier? How about renovating the College Ave Gym? Make it less of a sweaty shoebox and more of a, ya know, health and wellness facility? Or how about extending the hours? Maybe people want to get a lift or run in past 6pm on a Saturday before they get shitfaced? This news is tough to swallow both literally and figuratively but hey, at least you can wash it down with a coke product now =).

You can check out the full article right here:

Old Dominion Fraternity Suspended After Hanging Crude Signs, Gratzfeed Thinks It’s Lame

So it’s about that time for colleges where it’s move in day and everyone’s pumped for the impending ruckus syllabus (or chillabus) week is about to cause. With promiscuity at an all time high and responsibility at an all time low it’s not hard to find yourself overly excited if you’re in an 18-22 year olds shoes around this time. However for Old Dominion’s Sigma Nu the party appears to be ending early. The fraternity has just been suspended for…hanging signs?

“Crass, sexually suggestive banners “welcoming” freshman women to a Virginia college last week have sparked outrage and led to the suspension of at least one of the school’s fraternities.

The white signs draped over the balconies of an off-campus Old Dominion University house read “Rowdy and fun, hope your baby girl is ready for a good time,” “Freshman Daughter Drop Off” and “Go ahead and Drop Off Mom Too.”

The “O” “D” and “U” on the first sign were highlighted in blue, while the other letters were black.”


C’MON MAN. Really? This warrants a fraternity to be suspended? It’s no wonder comedians like Jerry Seinfeld don’t want to perform at colleges anymore because everything now has to be so damn politically correct, it’s sickening. I don’t even think the signs are that funny or cool in the first place but they definitely do not warrant a suspension or really much backlash at all. It’s their house, can’t they hang what they want? Freedom of speech or something? It’s not like these signs had blatant curse or explicit words on them. If they said something along the lines of “can’t wait to bust a nut all up in yo baby girls grill” then I could see the problem, these are only suggestive. If Americans are going to have a rough time with everything that could have a sexual connotation or other meaning then we are really, really fucked. If that’s the case then they should no longer be allowed to call Oreos with twice the amount of filling “Double Stuff” because there is clearly a sexual innuendo happening there and no kids should be exposed to such crass marketing. Also I’m calling for the removal of everything “brownie batter” too as brownie is clearly an offensive term aimed at African Americans. And the batter part? Brownie BATTER? With all this police brutality going on I don’t get how shit like this stays on shelves of American grocery stores, we need to take a stand dammit! But for real, I’ve seen comments from parents saying how if they saw these signs while helping move in they would make their daughter go home. I have a better idea, why don’t you just politely remind (you really shouldn’t have to do this either) your daughter of how she was raised and trust that you did a good enough job as a parent instilling strong values so that she could make the decision on her own to not go to a place hanging sexually suggestive signs. Or is 18 not old enough to make such decisions? Food for thought.

You can check out the full article right here: