Why PK Shamrocks Is The Greatest Establishment On Earth

From September thru February Sundays are the best day of the week. It’s not even close, you wake up, chug a blue gatorade to help the hangover, recap the night with the boys, set your lineup, talk shit to everyone in your league, place an order for a disturbing amount of wings and pizza and then proceed to sit on your ass literally all day and night watching football… maybe some HBO if the night game sucks. But eventually football season ends and Sunday just becomes the day before Monday, a somber day to think about your mistakes of the weekend and realize you have to wait a whole another week to commit new ones. Yeah, maybe you’ll hit a nice brunch or whatever but eventually that cold, chilling hour hits you where all you can think about is how you’re not ready to go through another week of utter bullshit. Luckily, PK Shamrocks, or simply known as “PK’s” has restored all the glory to the last day of the weekend it so desperately lacks during the football offseason.

OK, so what exactly is PK’s? It’s a bar, that’s really it, a shore bar down in Belmar. Now, I don’t know how or why this started but the day where everyone goes to PK’s to indulge in lunacy over the Summer is Sunday mornings.  Not to say the other days are bad there, to be honest I’ve actually only been down there on Sundays, that’s just when my age group seems to be in full force there. There’s a lot of bars down the shore, in major cities, maybe some good ones in your hometown…so what’s so special about PK’s? Pay attention, you’re about to get gratzfed some grade A knowledge my friends.

1. NO RULES!!!!!

Had to start this bad boy off with what really defines PK’s, and that is a complete lack of people who have a fuck or a shit to give about anything. In college, I preferred the frat house atmosphere compared to public establishments because there’s generally a code of accepted things you can and cannot do in public. You know, you can’t throw beer on people, smash the walls with a clenched fist, all that good stuff. At PK’s though? Wear a fucking bathing suit because it’s about to get wetter than Gratz at Chick fil fucking A. Wanna drown yourself and others in cheap, American beer? Go for it! Want to bang on the bar and walls while ‘Levels’ is playing? Go nuts dude! You know how when you go out down the shore everyone’s dressed like they’re trying to impress Jordan Belfort? Not at PK’s! Want to wear a bathing suit and a throwback jersey of a 90’s NBA has-been who severely underachieved in the league? You rock that Champion jersey brother! Seriously, let your inner self go at this place and just enjoy what comes from it, no worries, no judgements, just you and everyone else doing whatever the fuck they want to do, hell even the bartenders will splash you with water which brings me to my next point…

2. The people that work there are awesome.

The bartenders there aren’t your hotshots who arrogantly ignore or give you attitude, they’re these dolls that look like they’ve spent the last 40 years in the sun with a cigarette in their mouth. Real shore people, the one guy even looks like a pirate who got off the ship for a couple hours to pour drinks for everyone, gotta love it. Also, there’s bingo there (another bonus) and the host or MC is this older gentleman who just says whatever the fuck he wants (again, this is PK’s) through the microphone the whole time. He’s a fucking G, he yells at people, makes fun of them, shouts out the different sections of the bar, and calls out those bingo numbers like a boss. Also, you can’t forget about the front bouncer… not going to lie he’s a tad bit terrifying. He’s this HUGE bruiser who the boys say looks like “The Mountain” from ‘Game of Thrones’.  I know there’s no rules but I just wouldn’t fuck with this guy. Another cool thing is if you want to get out and get some air for a minute they don’t give you a rough time getting back in like some other places. Just flash your stamp or wristband and walk in like you own the place. The best guy there however is this taller dude with glasses, he’s basically the utility man, always see him walking around and doing his best to keep the place going, God bless.

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3. The food and drinks.

PK’s food always comes up clutch, and it’s dual purposed. Since the festivities start pretty early, the food

A. allows you to recover from the previous night of debauchery and

B. gives you fuel for the rest of your PK’s ride.

Just go up to the little stand in the back and get whatever you need to get over that hump, they have all the essentials and I tend to go with old reliable, chicken fingers. You can even get steak and eggs with a nice bloody mary or mimosa if you really feel like starting the day off with a bang.

The drinks there are awesome, their shots are bigger than those really tiny ones you get elsewhere, and they have some pretty cool flavors like this apple concoction that’s amazing. You can also get a plastic mug of beer for $5 and each refill is only a buck. Reasonable beer towers, pitchers, PK’s has you covered. The best part is they have inexpensive bottles of champagne if you want to cause a scene and spray champagne everywhere like you’re fucking Kirill, that’s also an option for your Sunday morning.

4. You act like an animal on a fucking Sunday.

Kinda hinted at this one in the beginning but I find it fascinating how all these shenanigans happen on a Sunday. Like who decided that? I like to think about all the guys throwing beer on girls in swim tops and then imagine them in a shirt and tie, standing at a water cooler telling their coworker 15 years older than them about their weekend by the water cooler. Luckily, my boss at Gratzfeed is super chill (it’s me actually) and doesn’t care when I get into the office. Plus, you get like a bonus day of the weekend. There’s nothing like waking up after a solid weekend on Sunday and realizing that the best part is yet to come. By the end of the day you have so much fun that you’re content that its over and appreciate the time to rest up for another round the next weekend. I thought this type of behavior from my age group stopped a year or two ago, I was wrong, we’re right in the fucking swing of things baby.

5. Wait, did I mention that there are no rules?

Seriously, you wanna wear a Ben Wallace Pistons jersey? Rock that shit homie. Wanna throw chicken fingers at Veronica Bochenek? Fire away, fire away! (Don’t hit her in the eye though that’s not cool) Wanna yell “SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME” all damn day? Sing it loud and sing it proud. Just be safe, don’t piss anyone off, get there early and enjoy PK Shamrocks.

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Top 5 Most Rutgers Songs Ever (Or At Least For When I Was There)

Ok so it’s that time where everyone starts posting sentimental shit about how they’re graduating and starting a new chapter and being a real person and all that sappy shit, and sometimes a nigga can’t help but reminisce on their own time at school and relive some memories. Music is a big part of college and a big part of Gratzfeed. The type of music you listen to can be an indicator of what kind of friends you have, what kind of places you go, and for a lot of people and institutions music contributes to their overall identity. I know Gratzfeed has millions of readers from schools all over the world, but for this post we’re sticking strictly to the filthiest, grimiest school ever, good old Rutgers. There’s been a lot of crazy ass music that we’ve all embarrassed ourselves to over the years, but these are songs that are just… well…Rutgers. In no order the top 5 most Rutgers songs are:

Stromae featuring Kanye West- Alors On Dance

Any normal (interpretive) kid wants to know what the party scene at their school is actually like. Is it like the movies? Can you actually approach a girl from behind and rub your dick on them and they go for it? My friends showed me this video of a place called “Zeta” which I’ve heard scary things about, kind of like how a mother warns a kindergartener about what happens if you don’t eat your vegetables. This was the song playing for it and the video was pure brilliance. Pretty much perfectly summed up what a Rutgers party is all about : sweat, yelling, cheap alcohol, people standing on raised surfaces, etc. I spent entirely way too much time trying to dig up the original video but of course I couldn’t find it. Footage like that is rare, definitely too valuable to just stay there out in the open on the internet. I would say luckily we have memories of the actual parties themselves, but unfortunately thats not the case, that would have been nice though.

Sebastian Ingrosso & Alesso featuring Ryan Tedder- Calling

DUNNA NUH NUH NUH DUNNA NUH NUH NUH DUNNA…… this one, as they said in Blades of Glory (and Niggas In Paris), “it gets the people going!”. Seriously it didn’t matter how fucked up your cerebral cortex was, everyone was able to somehow sing the melody of this song in unison. That’s what made it so great, it was the perfect sing a long, except without the words because drinking travelers club/burnetts makes it really fucking difficult to do the whole words thing. It was also a great beat to slam things on to as well. Like while your chanting you could be smashing a bottle or your fist against the wall. Eventually, there was a version with words and if you were able to physically utter them, they were truly a blast. Also bonus points because Alesso was pretty much the first big electronic act to come to Rutgers right when the genre really got big. Nothing will be as disturbing as the people in the RAC that night, not even the basketball team themselves.

Bobby Shmurda- Hot Nigga

Personally, this song made me feel many types of ways. In addition to making me want to reenact an episode of gangland, it definitely made me despise every white female in the world. But for real, everyone loved this one, it was the highlight of every pregame, every party, every person knew every word, just a straight up raucous time. It even had it’s own shmoney dance (that some did way better than others) which was just straight up silly, but just the kind of silly a college party needs.

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Diplo Featuring Nicky B- Express Yourself

Ok so there were a few other songs I was thinking of going with here. Avicii’s ‘Seek Bromance’ was huge, Meek Mill’s ‘House Party’ was probably directly responsible for at least half of all new std cases, and ‘Wagon Wheel’ while cliche as fuck is well, Wagon Wheel. However, Express Yourself started a whole new movement, the twerking movement. You know that table of girls in the library with their hair tied using a highlighter on some ratty book? Well, come night time their hands were on the floor and their feet were against a decrepit wall shaking their ass faster than a cop shuts down a day drink. There was no shame. None. While a lot of those girls now are dressed in business casual five times us a week, we’ll never forget the time where they twerked with their g-string out to some Diplo in college.

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Rihanna (And Calvin Harris)- We Found Love

“We found love in a hopeless place”, that is Rutgers my friends. I’ve been to some shitty fucking places in my life and New Brunswick is pretty up there as far as the most disgusting. Whether it be walking downstairs to finding homeless people chilling right in your living room, or places like “The Hub”, or having to ask your friend “was that fireworks or…?”, New Brunswick was pretty damn repulsive. Even the Chipotle there doesn’t taste as good for some reason. However, despite the high levels of ratchetivity, a lot of people have found a lot of love in this place. People have found their friends, their significant others, and yes, even their fiancees (I know!) in this morose setting. Truly amazing how people can come from the nicest places and end up making their strongest allies in the shittiest location. Hold up. Fuck. Sorry, let me stop being all sappy for a second… the song itself really bumped too. Definitely the definitive anthem of the 2011 tailgate season. Wait did I just say 2011? On that note, gotta run, gotta find something more profitable than blogging about fucking twerking, peace.