I don’t know how to begin this one. When I heard the news, I first had to scour the web to make sure the info was legit, immediately followed by cleaning myself up and changing into a new pair of boxers. McDonald’s is adding McGriddles to their all day breakfast menu.
“The McGriddle — a breakfast sandwich made with maple-flavored griddle cakes — will be added to the all-day service this fall, along with McMuffins and biscuit sandwiches.”
Ok let me break this down for yall. McDonald’s was struggling with business like an aging porn star whose vagina is more worn out than Cal Ripken’s glove. Some people (sadly) abandoned the iconic restaurant for healthier and fresher options offered at a comparable price. To spice things up, McDonald’s announced that they would be serving breakfast all day (instead of normally ending at 10:30 which, let’s face it, ain’t happening when you’re 24 and hungover). It was cool news and all since that was something the people wanted for a while, but there was a catch, a big one. McGriddles would not be part of the all day menu and if you wanted to get them you had to be at Mcdonald’s before 10:30 like some sort of barbarian. Now, that is about to be a thing of the past and we can all rejoice and look forward to something this fall besides the start of football and sweatpants.
In case you live under a rock or were impoverished growing up, McGriddles are breakfast sandwiches where the bread is basically a pancake infused with maple syrup. They’re really fucking good. The perfect thing to eat if I didn’t have to wake up at an ungodly hour to consume. (I’m writing a blog about McDonald’s in my boxers what makes you think I can be there and awake by 10:30 in the morning.) It was like a universal yearning by all American fatasses alike to be able to order a McGriddle whenever the hell you wanted, without the place being infested with old people who take 20 minutes to order and are an extreme risk in the parking lot. This is special news, news that will change the fast food game forever. You can now legit order a 20 piece McNugget and Sausage McGriddle if you so choose. Big Mac and a Bacon, Egg and Cheese Sandwich with two pancakes with syrup infused in them as the bun? Sure, you got it. McDonald’s is going to turn into a refuge for stoners and hungover alcoholics alike and I’m ready to be a part of the movement. All that millennial, egg white bullshit is about to be over. Fast food is on it’s way to being great again so order those elastic sweatpants and exercise your constitutional right to eat a McGriddle whenever the fuck you so please.
You can check out the full article right here: