You guys remember Aaron Hernandez right? The dude who played pro football but had his career cut short after being found guilty of murder and shit? Yeah him! Well, speaking of cut, the ex Patriot was found with a shank like weapon in his cell.
“Guards found a prison-made knife during a shakedown of Hernandez’s cell Thursday, WHDH.com reported, citing sources. He was immediately taken out of general population, according to the website.”
Bad Aaron! Most people are going to see this and shrug it off, simply saying ” classic Aaron!” and move on with their day. But here at Gratzfeed we’re too wise, we see the bigger picture. Isn’t it a coincidence how this happened just as star Patriots Tight End Rob Gronkowski got hurt and was ruled out of Sunday’s game with a week to week prognosis? Hernandez was going to shank his way through that prison like a sega genesis video game until making it to a safe zone where he would then be picked up by Bill Belichick.. so close but yet so far. Just joshin around, if Bill Belichick wanted to actually do this he wouldn’t have gotten caught because… c’mon it’s Bill fucking Belichick. He knew they were playing the Eagles this weekend and realized he didn’t even need to pull a stunt like this, too much time and effort. Could just as well sign an undrafted Division 6 tight end and throw em out there against the Birds and still probably win by 50, meh.
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