“Forgive me father for I have sinned”.
That is what I kept thinking of when I decided to review the new McDonald’s chicken sandwich. It felt sacrilegious because I’m such a devout follower of the Chick Fil A practice, but since fine cuisine is a big part of Gratzfeed I believed it to be my duty to give a fair and impartial review of this new sandwich and, while we prefer Chick Fil A here, we appreciate and enjoy all walks of fast food life. Plus, McDonalds has never wronged me with their chicken (besides that time they used to serve nuggets with purple meat back in the day but hey lets let bygones be bygones).
So I pulled up to the drive thru, ordered the meal, a McChicken as well for shits and gigs and went back to the spot to put this bad boy to the test. I opened it and it looked pretty legit. You could tell the bun was going to be a game changer. It was time to feast.
After the first bite I heard a big plop fall into the packaging (see below). I looked and it was an obscene amount of buttermilk ranch (it is the premium buttermilk crispy chicken deluxe sandwich after all). I couldn’t get over how much ranch was on this sucker, just ranch everywhere, like an elephant was mating and pulled out and finished all over this premium McDonalds Sandwich. I definitely didn’t think this ranch tasted as good as the packaged ranch from McDonald’s, something was off.
I persevered through this odd tasting ranch and continued eating. It was pretty good, the chicken was rather McDonalds like as expected, a nice and bigger white meat alternative to whatever is in the McChicken. The roll tasted really good but there was just so much of this sauce that i couldn’t even taste it which really hampered the experience. Overall, it wasn’t my favorite, not bad, just not my favorite and at $4.69 for just the sandwich it puts you in the classic McDonalds conundrum, would you rather have one of these or like five things from the dollar menu and re evaluate life later?
Then, for this review I went to McDonalds’ website solely to retrieve the official name for this concoction. I took a quick glance at the ingredients and that is when i snapped. “A tender, juicy, filet made with 100% chicken breast meat, real buttermilk and no artificial colors. Plus fresh tomato, crisp leaf lettuce and mayonnaise. All atop our delectable artisan roll.” I hate tomatoes so I ordered it without them BUT WHAT WAS THAT PART BEFORE THE ARTISAN ROLL? MAYONNAISE? WHAT. OK, I see what happened here, I, for some moronic reason thought that the premium buttermilk crispy chicken deluxe sandwich meant BUTTERMILK RANCH. Turns out, it was just the chicken that was buttermilk. The class mix-up I guess. Who says buttermilk nowadays without talking about ranch? You may be thinking “Gratz, how the fuck did you think that mayonnaise was ranch?, You’re better than that.” Well normally I would give you that, HOWEVER THIS IS MCDONALDS WE’RE TALKING ABOUT, THE CHICKEN USED TO BE FUCKING PURPLE FOR FUCKS SAKE. Plus i don’t eat mayonnaise so how was I supposed to know what it tasted like. (On a side note it wasn’t as repulsive as I thought as I was able to finish the sandwich, but I definitely will continue to order food without it in the future.)
Hey McDonald’s, you wanna know why you’re hurting for sales and losing to a place that isn’t even open 7 days a week? It’s because you pull shit like this, advertise a buttermilk chicken sandwich and put fucking mayonnaise on it instead of buttermilk ranch, despite previously having a sandwich on the dollar menu that had ranch on it. I’m heated man, hold me back. Chick fil a would never do something so foul, so heinous, and if they did I would cause such a scene and put my nuts on the counter and all they would say is “my pleasure =)” and fix it. I do however feel I have to try this sandwich again, without mayo even though I really shouldn’t. I can’t let them win like that.
Verdict: N/A, too enraged from ranch debacle, stay tuned for an update.