Why PK Shamrocks Is The Greatest Establishment On Earth

From September thru February Sundays are the best day of the week. It’s not even close, you wake up, chug a blue gatorade to help the hangover, recap the night with the boys, set your lineup, talk shit to everyone in your league, place an order for a disturbing amount of wings and pizza and then proceed to sit on your ass literally all day and night watching football… maybe some HBO if the night game sucks. But eventually football season ends and Sunday just becomes the day before Monday, a somber day to think about your mistakes of the weekend and realize you have to wait a whole another week to commit new ones. Yeah, maybe you’ll hit a nice brunch or whatever but eventually that cold, chilling hour hits you where all you can think about is how you’re not ready to go through another week of utter bullshit. Luckily, PK Shamrocks, or simply known as “PK’s” has restored all the glory to the last day of the weekend it so desperately lacks during the football offseason.

OK, so what exactly is PK’s? It’s a bar, that’s really it, a shore bar down in Belmar. Now, I don’t know how or why this started but the day where everyone goes to PK’s to indulge in lunacy over the Summer is Sunday mornings.  Not to say the other days are bad there, to be honest I’ve actually only been down there on Sundays, that’s just when my age group seems to be in full force there. There’s a lot of bars down the shore, in major cities, maybe some good ones in your hometown…so what’s so special about PK’s? Pay attention, you’re about to get gratzfed some grade A knowledge my friends.

1. NO RULES!!!!!

Had to start this bad boy off with what really defines PK’s, and that is a complete lack of people who have a fuck or a shit to give about anything. In college, I preferred the frat house atmosphere compared to public establishments because there’s generally a code of accepted things you can and cannot do in public. You know, you can’t throw beer on people, smash the walls with a clenched fist, all that good stuff. At PK’s though? Wear a fucking bathing suit because it’s about to get wetter than Gratz at Chick fil fucking A. Wanna drown yourself and others in cheap, American beer? Go for it! Want to bang on the bar and walls while ‘Levels’ is playing? Go nuts dude! You know how when you go out down the shore everyone’s dressed like they’re trying to impress Jordan Belfort? Not at PK’s! Want to wear a bathing suit and a throwback jersey of a 90’s NBA has-been who severely underachieved in the league? You rock that Champion jersey brother! Seriously, let your inner self go at this place and just enjoy what comes from it, no worries, no judgements, just you and everyone else doing whatever the fuck they want to do, hell even the bartenders will splash you with water which brings me to my next point…

2. The people that work there are awesome.

The bartenders there aren’t your hotshots who arrogantly ignore or give you attitude, they’re these dolls that look like they’ve spent the last 40 years in the sun with a cigarette in their mouth. Real shore people, the one guy even looks like a pirate who got off the ship for a couple hours to pour drinks for everyone, gotta love it. Also, there’s bingo there (another bonus) and the host or MC is this older gentleman who just says whatever the fuck he wants (again, this is PK’s) through the microphone the whole time. He’s a fucking G, he yells at people, makes fun of them, shouts out the different sections of the bar, and calls out those bingo numbers like a boss. Also, you can’t forget about the front bouncer… not going to lie he’s a tad bit terrifying. He’s this HUGE bruiser who the boys say looks like “The Mountain” from ‘Game of Thrones’.  I know there’s no rules but I just wouldn’t fuck with this guy. Another cool thing is if you want to get out and get some air for a minute they don’t give you a rough time getting back in like some other places. Just flash your stamp or wristband and walk in like you own the place. The best guy there however is this taller dude with glasses, he’s basically the utility man, always see him walking around and doing his best to keep the place going, God bless.

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3. The food and drinks.

PK’s food always comes up clutch, and it’s dual purposed. Since the festivities start pretty early, the food

A. allows you to recover from the previous night of debauchery and

B. gives you fuel for the rest of your PK’s ride.

Just go up to the little stand in the back and get whatever you need to get over that hump, they have all the essentials and I tend to go with old reliable, chicken fingers. You can even get steak and eggs with a nice bloody mary or mimosa if you really feel like starting the day off with a bang.

The drinks there are awesome, their shots are bigger than those really tiny ones you get elsewhere, and they have some pretty cool flavors like this apple concoction that’s amazing. You can also get a plastic mug of beer for $5 and each refill is only a buck. Reasonable beer towers, pitchers, PK’s has you covered. The best part is they have inexpensive bottles of champagne if you want to cause a scene and spray champagne everywhere like you’re fucking Kirill, that’s also an option for your Sunday morning.

4. You act like an animal on a fucking Sunday.

Kinda hinted at this one in the beginning but I find it fascinating how all these shenanigans happen on a Sunday. Like who decided that? I like to think about all the guys throwing beer on girls in swim tops and then imagine them in a shirt and tie, standing at a water cooler telling their coworker 15 years older than them about their weekend by the water cooler. Luckily, my boss at Gratzfeed is super chill (it’s me actually) and doesn’t care when I get into the office. Plus, you get like a bonus day of the weekend. There’s nothing like waking up after a solid weekend on Sunday and realizing that the best part is yet to come. By the end of the day you have so much fun that you’re content that its over and appreciate the time to rest up for another round the next weekend. I thought this type of behavior from my age group stopped a year or two ago, I was wrong, we’re right in the fucking swing of things baby.

5. Wait, did I mention that there are no rules?

Seriously, you wanna wear a Ben Wallace Pistons jersey? Rock that shit homie. Wanna throw chicken fingers at Veronica Bochenek? Fire away, fire away! (Don’t hit her in the eye though that’s not cool) Wanna yell “SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME” all damn day? Sing it loud and sing it proud. Just be safe, don’t piss anyone off, get there early and enjoy PK Shamrocks.

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