We all know who Warren Buffett is, he’s that old fucking genius investor who makes more money than all the slimy jews in this world combined. Well, it looks like he’s outsmarting the entire planet once again, this time with his diet. According to a report from Business Insider, Buffett drinks five 12-ounce servings of coca-cola a day… which is equal to five cans. My man isn’t downing coke zero or diet coke either, he’s gulping straight up regular sugar laced coca cola. That’s just the beverage portion…to go along with that he enjoys eating Utz Potato Stix. Let me tell you a little something about potato stix, nobody eats just a few handfuls of potato stix and puts the bag away, the bag always gets killed, so you know this dudes just straight up Ray Lewis’ing these sodas and potato stix as he counts his billions (literally billions). He’s also 84 years old. The best part of this whole thing was his quote after discussing why he recently ate ice cream for breakfast: “I checked the actuarial tables, and the lowest death rate is among six-year-olds,” Buffett told Fortune. “So I decided to eat like a six-year-old.”
Ya see that? While you’re having anxiety about whatever the fuck gluten is and busting your ass at the gym, one of America’s greatest minds is outsmarting everyone because he’s smart and you’re dumb. This whole time societies been shaming me for choosing white rice over brown meanwhile this 84 year old genius is eating like a fucking kindergartner and thriving. This is the kind of forward thinking America needs. I know what I’m doing tonight, heading over to the grocery store and stocking the fuck up on lunchables, dunkaroos, fruit by the foot, all that good shit. Fuck it I might even scoop an 8-ball of fun dip and go to town. Maybe its time you put down the meal replacement bar and throw a kids cuisine in the oven. Wake up and smell the fucking cola.
